A relationship trick (conversation fodder)

I was thrilled when I looked at my Podcast queue last weekend and saw that the most recent episode of the Tim Ferriss Show was an interview with shame researcher, vulnerability guru, and all around badass Brené Brown. I savoured every moment of the interview, but what resonated with me the most was Brené and Tim’s conversation about a trick that both of them use to keep their relationships with their partners on track.

I’m paraphrasing here, but both of them schedule time with their partners (on a weekly-ish basis) to discuss what is working well in the relationship, what might not be working, and what they would like to see more of. Because they carve out a safe space for this discussion, they’re able to give and respond to constructive criticism without getting worked up into an argument, and also able to identify patterns and trends.

My husband and I instilled a weekly(ish) date night last year. Basically, we take turns picking an activity once a week. The planner controls pretty much all aspects of the date. He took me to Shakespeare in the Park, and I forced him to go took him to a spin class. Some nights it’s just as simple as trying out a new recipe, or cooking some sort of halloumi cheese (because everything is better with halloumi cheese) dish at home. It’s a nice opportunity for us to connect, and often do things together that we wouldn’t necessarily do together otherwise. However, we don’t do a lot of scheduled conversations about the state of our marriage, and as two people who still have a lot to learn about communication, I think the idea of a marriage meeting with specific talking points would be helpful for us. Specifically, I’m very bad at telling him the things I appreciate about him (even though there are so many). We’re going to try and integrate these conversations into our date nights and see how it goes.

Highly recommend listening to the podcast episode for more great pearls of wisdom from Brené, as well as her losing her shit about a TikTok joke about baby goats and matter babies. I’m not sure which was more hilarious…the joke itself or Brené’s totally unscripted hysterical laughter. I love it when people I so admire remind me that they’re human.

 

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